PATCH NOTES v5.1

Motto: to release and patch!

We’ve come a long way! Initial release and Patches v0.1-0.5 were, admittedly, rocky. The inclusion of the PUBERTY DLC at v0.95 was perhaps a little soon. It just wasn’t ready for primetime and the devs had to scramble to correct bugs with the voice, height, skin textures, and especially the privates. They barely scraped things together in time for patch v1.18 with the addition of the COLLEGE DLC. And… well… we’re sorry about that one. Our bad.

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HOW TO SUMMON THE DARK CHTHONIC GODS IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME

No matter how nice someone is, no matter how peaceful, innocent, or shy, there comes a time when one has to summon the Dark Chthonic Gods™ and make a wasteland out of your immediate area while you dine over the bodies of the desiccated husks that once had jobs and paid taxes.

I mean, everyone goes through this occasionally… like every twenty-three minutes on the dot. Right?

Hello?

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IT’S MILLENNIAL WEEK!

Hey, everyone! It’s “Millennial Week!” Who says? Me says!

Starting this Friday, Millennial Week is upon us! Given that US calendar week starts on Sunday and ends on Saturday, this makes Millennial Week last two days. Because why not do what everyone else has done to Millennials – overpromise.

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NARCOLEPSY NIGHT SCHOOL

Do you have a friend with narcolepsy? I have two!

No, I am not going to give you one of them. What is your problem?! First of all, your question seems to indicate a very lax attitude towards human trafficking. Second of all, how am I going to mail one to you?

You have to think these things through.

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