HOW TO SUMMON THE DARK CHTHONIC GODS IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME

No matter how nice someone is, no matter how peaceful, innocent, or shy, there comes a time when one has to summon the Dark Chthonic Gods™ and make a wasteland out of your immediate area while you dine over the bodies of the desiccated husks that once had jobs and paid taxes.

I mean, everyone goes through this occasionally… like every twenty-three minutes on the dot. Right?

Hello?

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