Okay, let’s start here:

You live in a volcano. But it’s not just some random volcano. It’s a paradise island with a volcano in the center. And this isn’t just a garden-variety volcano. Oh, no.

It has all the amenities! Media centers, living quarters for hundreds, elevators, brushed metal finishes EVERYWHERE, all of the modern amenities, a fleet of weaponized helicopters, yachts with secret speed boats carried inside of them like a mother and child, and advanced scientific equipment.

Plus, gigabit broadband!

Unrealistic? Okay.

Suppose you are the supernatural personification of evil. You have the horns, the giant bat wings, the fire licking out of your eye sockets, and the attitude. You can pose as a beautiful human when you want to, and often do to lead people astray. But your all-consuming anger doesn’t keep you from enjoying your sardonic view of life and your charming ways.

People like you and want to be like you. You can charm people when you want to, but even when your evil plans are revealed, you have a plan B, C, D, and so on through YYY. Only a deus ex machina can stop you.

Also, you are quite the looker!

And even when you are stopped, no one will ever forget you.

What is not to like about being evil?

Continue reading “Eeeeeeeee-vil!”