Step On The Pedal

Word Count

Yep, I’m still doing that. 53,399 words. I took a couple of days off because I won NanoWriMo and so figured I could take a victory lap or seven. The first draft is almost done. I have two more chapters to launch.

Writing Advice: Start, Already!

Book-ending from the previous post! Clever, huh? I took my Clever Pills* today.

Anyway, you’ve taken a break. You’ve stopped and smelled the roses, then got your foot caught up in the garden hose, making you stumble into the shed, rebounding off of that onto a rake, which springs up and pops you on the nose, sending you staggering to the latticed gazebo covered in ivy, where your arm gets stuck. Upon wrenching your arm free, you pull on a supporting strut that keeps the gazebo from collapsing, which (without the supporting strut you yanked away) promptly collapses.

Stumbling away from the wreckage, you accidentally bump into the wooden cabinets containing the bee hives. An angry swarm comes out to get you. While you swat the swarm away (lattice still stuck to your arm) you fall backwards into the Koi pond. The bees are so saddened by your state that they leave you alone. Yes, you are so pathetic that even angry bees pity you.

THAT’S what happens when you stop writing for too long.

So turn on your computer, open the pad of paper, bring out your calligraphy brush, find your Aldis lamp, fire up the old telegraph, or prepare any other medium you use to write, and get to writing!

I sometimes find it difficult to get back into it after the space of a few days, so here are my friendly tips on what to do to get back into the swing of things:

  1. Write something.
  2. Write ANYTHING.
  3. Compose a list of things you should be writing, then stop making lists. They’re a waste of your time.
  4. Get back to writing.
  5. If you feel like you can’t write, look at your fingers. Is there a physical problem? No? Stop being a baby and write.
  6. Eat something. Maybe something sweet.

Do you want to wimp out on writing, or do you want to be the kind of person that bees will sting?

That’s not a good either/or scenario, but I think I’ve been as clear as is possible. What I am saying is get back on the horse. Don’t get addicted TO horse. I think that’s street lingo for “heroin”. Let William S. Burroughs do William S. Burroughs.

I suppose “horse” could also be street lingo for a “horse”. I imagine it depends on which street we’re talking about.

Please excuse me. I might be high on Clever Pills. I should go check my dosage.


* Common side effects of Clever Pills include agitation, dry mouth, insomnia, nausea, violent constipation, dizziness, heart echos, teeth movement, Plumbers thumbnail, sweating, the quickening, Athlete’s elbow, vastly increased urination, tremors, petal urethra, hypnosis, and intern’s disease.