AN ALBUM REVIEW(?!) of YES “THE QUEST”

An album review?! Okay, yeah, I just had to get this out of me. I am a huge fan of the band Yes. I know, nerdy ol’ me liking prog rock?! Who could’ve guessed? I have parsed through their music like how Hassidim read the Torah. So much of what I know and appreciate about music came from them that their positive contribution to my life has been inestimable.

I listened to the new Yes album “The Quest” and it has presented me with a question. Is an album supposed to fill you with anger and disappointment?

I AM BEING BLACKMAILED!

Just a few days ago, I received the most extraordinary email from someone named Jason Bell at jasonbunga1998@yahoo.com. He emailed me with an amazing business offer! See for yourself.

WHEN TO INTRODUCE YOUR SEX DUNGEON

Literally no one has ever asked me when one should introduce their secret Sex Dungeon to the potential boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/nosy parrot.

This is a mistake.

NON-MONOGAMY AND YOU… OR US… OR WHATEVER

Human sexuality and attachment: it has been going on for well over sixty years and it’s about time someone put a stop to it. It used to be that you would find one random person, pretend it was fate that brought you together, and spend the following decades learning how to see your spouse as the one thing preventing you from being happy.

Ah, the good old days!

PATCH NOTES v5.1

Motto: to release and patch!

We’ve come a long way! Initial release and Patches v0.1-0.5 were, admittedly, rocky. The inclusion of the PUBERTY DLC at v0.95 was perhaps a little soon. It just wasn’t ready for primetime and the devs had to scramble to correct bugs with the voice, height, skin textures, and especially the privates. They barely scraped things together in time for patch v1.18 with the addition of the COLLEGE DLC. And… well… we’re sorry about that one. Our bad.